I’ll Kick Your Dog

Yesterday’s trip to the dog park taught me that I, too, have limitations. Some may say that mine require some reining in. I am well within reasonable parameters. Keep your shit in check and I won’t have to check it for you. Almost a month ago (the best month of my grown-up life) my husband […]

If I Could Say A Few Words

That giant waterbed you owned was my favorite place. Barely able to peer over its massive frame, I always required a lift to climb in. I felt tiny in its warm folds. Snuggled in, I imagined us on some great adventure. Sailing seas, the two of us. Falling asleep beside you to the sounds of […]

The Liar Apocalypse

and batteries for all! When I was 8, my dad told me that we’d go to the snow. He said we’d leave at some god-awful hour of the morning to hit the slopes early enough to get in plenty of ski time in. I was ecstatic. To date, I have never skied. When I was […]

Crop Circles in Vegas

Crap on a cracker! It’s been 2 fucking months (or maybe longer) since I’ve written anything, let alone posted anything worth dick. I’m not saying that this is the post where I’ll change any of that, it’s merely some commentary. Lubricant to get the wheels out of the ‘lock’ position. Nothing substantive has transpired in […]

Alternate Self

I sat next to myself as a man, slowly dying and afraid. This won’t be a typical post. This is the account of an event having a significant effect on me; an encounter I won’t forget. For those that read my blog often, you know that I post on various social media platforms. To preserve […]

Check Yer Semantics

You’re not triggered. You’re lazy and entitled. This incursion of assholes using the word “triggered” to describe everyday events has to end. I’m not against those who’ve legitimately suffered a trauma using the word to signal others when something has affected them. Get that shit off your chest. Also, get some help. Don’t stay damaged. […]

Concussed and cussing

Where do I start? Life’s been in full swing. Let’s begin with the throbbing in my head. It’s always fun detailing the exploits that have landed me in whatever predicament I’m in that I’ve found necessary to write (rant) about. Yesterday, with some time to kill at my desk, I threw on some lectures I […]

Wax on, Wax off

The evolution of the razor is glorious. The very first razor I used was a single-blade, blue, Bic men’s razor. I recall looking into the rusted corners of that razor and thinking I’m a woman now – I’ve arrived. Looking back, I’m horrified. I nicked myself several times with that royal blue bacteria factory. It’s […]